*$%&@*$&#

Let me first say that I've never said the "f-word." Sure, I've thought it. But I've never actually said it. In fact, I didn't curse until my sophomore year of college. And for the past month or so, the f-word has had a much stronger presence in my thoughts, to the point of almost coming out.
Some things are meant to be confidential, and they will stay confidential. But for the love of all that is good and holy... job rejections suck. Especially when HR sends you a completely full of crap correspondence that is completely untrue. This marks at least the 2nd one I've received that has no basis in the real world.
I'm trying to stay patient. I really really am. But I'm about to enter into my fourth month of unemployment, and the only money I've made is from 1 three-hour babysitting gig. And that was today. So, please stop telling me to be patient. Also, please stop asking about how the job search goes. Trust me- when I get a job, everyone will know. I won't try to hide it. And as a reward, until I get that job, I'll try really hard not to lose my patience in front of too many people. Deal?

Quote of the Month- March

1. the path is not straight.
2. mistakes need not be fatal.
3. people are more important than achievements or possessions.
4. be gentle with your parents.
5. never stop doing what you care most about.
6. learn to use a semicolon.
7. you will find love.
-marion winik

Some notes about this quote of the month:
-If the path was straight, where would the fun be?
-I may need to learn from #3. I tend to be so focused on making it through the next major project/ step/ whatever, that it sometimes alienates me from people. Of course, other things also factor into that, not just the achievements.
-I totally agree about #6. I caught my first plagiarized paper when I was a TA because throughout the entire paper, the student couldn't use a comma correctly. Then, magically, the student used a semicolon correctly. I typed that sentence into google and voila, an Amazon book review came up. And then the rest of the paper fell apart as I found other plagiarized portions.
-I can't wait to share April's with you- my birth month got the best quote ever!

Can you get rejected for a job in a dream?

Let me just say right off the bat, I should watch less television. See if you can find any parts of this story that sound very much like American Idol- because that's what it felt like.

So, last night, I had an incredibly vivid dream, where I was applying for a job at a place where I have already been rejected... but for a different job. In fact, this place was hiring about 20 people, so LOTS of people were there to apply. We go through interviews with 3 or 4 people, and during my first one, there is lots of praise. I left convinced that I would make it to the next round of interviews, which I did. So then we have round 2 of interviews, and that goes really well. The words "You have the job" aren't mentioned, but they might as well have been with what they are saying to me.

So then comes the next round of cuts. Everyone still in the running (about 50 people) is gathered in an auditorium with nametags on. Oddly enough, the guy I sat next to in 8th grade homeroom is there (I haven't seen him since 8th grade), and we get to talking. While we are talking, people who work for the department that we hope to get jobs with are walking around with letters or big boxes (that look exactly like the boxes that Panera gives people for a dozen bagels). The letters are for the people rejected, the boxes are for those who get the job- it's how you find out if you made it. So, this girl comes up to this guy and I and says, "Awesome, you're sitting together! That makes my job easier." Then she checks my nametag one more time, hands him the box, and says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I misread your nametag. Yours is around here somewhere." Well, then I spot someone walking by with my name... on an envelope attached to a wrapped up paperback book. Totally doesn't match any of the other packages or letters.

I open up the letter and read, "You did a great job, but unfortunately, there were just too many people here with similar resumes." (or something along those lines). Everyone from the department wrote little lines of encouragement, telling me to stay positive, the perfect job is out there, I'll find it soon. And then, oddly enough, my friend and her new husband also signed it. Yeah, I have no idea why.

Anyways, I was so angry and upset to lose this job when I felt like it was right there in my fingers that I threw a coke can up at the interviewers who were on the stage. And then I stormed out crying (though trying to hold in the tears as much as I could until I got outside). Naturally, it was pouring down rain when I got outside. So I then run to my car, get in the driver's seat and start driving. The next thing I realize, I'm actually in the backseat, still crying, and my mom is driving. Why my mom is picking me up from an interview, I have no clue. She tells me that while she knows that I don't want to talk about it, she needs to at least know what happened. AND then I finally wake up from that nightmare.

In case you're wondering about what book they gave me, I have no idea. I woke up before I had a chance to open it. Probably something about staying positive. So can you get rejected for a job in a dream? Yes... and you can show just how terrible you feel by throwing coke cans at your interviewers and not worry about any repercussions! I also love how even in my dreams, people are telling me to stay patient.

"Patience for now. More later."

This weekend was different. I went back to Murfreesboro to start packing up the rest of my room (so that my roommate might have her master bedroom back). While there, I got the email that I've been waiting for for 2 weeks (hurray!) and now I have a pre-interview of sorts set up for this week.
And then I got another sort of rejection. I may talk about this more later, but for now, I'm not going to go any further.
So this job search is taking longer than I expected. Significantly longer. Last week was bad, and I'm sorry if you were caught in my impatience cloud. I'm going to try to get out more this week (if the weather will allow) and watching the Olympics is nice and fun and different.

(For an idea of how bad my impatience was last week, I am now 2 episodes away from being done with Season 6 of Gilmore Girls. 2 weeks ago, I was on Season 3.)

Quote of the Month

My roommates gave me the "quotable 2010 calendar" for a Christmas present, knowing how much I love quotes.
I'm posting this month's quote as a reminder for myself, and also so you can enjoy it. The bold is how it's printed on the calendar.

This is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life.
-anonymous

Unemployment Stories

So, I still don't have a job. Fingers are crossed for another interview this week (hopefully the weather didn't affect that).
So what am I doing while I wait patiently for job news?
1. A t-shirt quilt: I've been saving up old t-shirts for awhile. You know, ones that meant a lot to you but you don't want to wear them anymore? So, this past week, I've been chopping them up into squares. I've also started doing this for my parents and brother. Sometime this week, my mom and I might even begin sewing them together! Anything to keep myself sorta busy.
2. Rearranging shelves/ selling back books: I have way too many books. So while I move books around shelves, I discover books that I don't want any more. I've discovered that I have way too many books. Too bad I end up buying more books when I take my old books to McKays. I've almost unloaded my last 2 boxes of books that are here.
3. Rewatching TV seasons on DVD: I hadn't watched Gilmore Girls in awhile (and I own all the seasons on DVD). So I started with the beginning and I'm working my way through all 7 seasons. I'm almost done with season 3 now.
4. Reading... for fun: This goes along with #2. Now that I actually have time to keep up with my love for reading, I've been taking advantage.

Yeah... I need a job.

Tales from a Bridesmaid, Part III

Wedding #2 has been over for 4 days... that must mean it's time to start thinking ahead to the next one... right? Right.
Picked up bridesmaid dress #3 today from David's Bridal. The good news: I should have no problems with fitting into this dress in June. The bad news: I kinda hate David's Bridal's dress designers a whole heck of a lot. They create these dresses that I swear have to be differently sized on the top than they are on the bottom.
See, we've got a similar problem with this dress as the last one and how the top will fit but the bottom won't or the bottom will fit and the top won't. I'm not complaining- because this one I could afford to go up in size to get the bottom to fit without fear of ripping or it falling off (thank you thick straps). But it's got to say something when the woman doing alterations made the comment, "Well, you couldn't go down a size and still fit... but you may want to think about taking in the shoulders and the sides." And the price for these alterations? More than the cost of the dress. I do not kid... they'd have to rebuild the body of the dress to fit my torso better. Again- this dress wouldn't fit so well if I went down a size. And as much as it pains me to say, this dress is also 2 sizes bigger than the dress I wore Saturday and last May. Can anyone explain this fact to me? Nicoletta offered to cut the size tag out of the dress for me so that I will stop thinking about that.
So now, my mom is going to be doing the hem and the shoulders herself, and I'll just get a loose dress instead of fitted. I'll be more comfortable anyways! Woohoo for that fact!!!