I can go the distance.

So much has changed since April 26. For one, I can say that at least for the time being (for the first time since December 2008), I don't have bridesmaid duties hanging over my head. For two, I can officially announce that I'm job searching again. I've been looking since March, but I got official word that there wasn't any funding to continue paying my paycheck, so my last day was last Thursday (I took advantage of the Memorial Day holiday and comp days for the remainder of May). I'm trying to apply for unemployment, but it appears that you have to follow the Department of Labor and Workforce Development's schedule to even apply online. For three, I'm also getting to deal with the aftermath of April 27's weather, since it dinged up my car pretty bad. I have to wait until October (yes- OCTOBER) to get my car fixed. Fingers crossed that I don't get pulled over for my taillight being out, since that got fried with the hail, and again, can't get an appointment until October.

Things that I've learned since April 26- don't take anything for granted. People seem determined to prove me wrong every step of the way this year. And when you cheer to "good riddance" at New Year's, be specific. Otherwise, you lose a lot more than you figure.

I'll try to spare readers my impatient/ pessimistic thoughts about the job front.

Is this more than you bargained for yet?

Music likes to play games with my head.

About 3 times this week on my way home from work, I've heard "Sugar, We're Goin Down" by Fall Out Boy. First line is "Am I more than you bargained for yet?" and later it repeats with "Is this more than you bargained for yet?"

Well, today I figured out why it's intrigued me all week- because this week I've been asking myself that very question. There isn't one particular point from the week that I can say was particularly bad, but the week just drained me. This week isn't what I bargained for at all. I try to start one project and get pulled away to do a job that falls under the "and other duties as needed" part of my job description. I work on that for awhile, start another job that falls under my actual job duties, only to be pulled away again. I come back, stare at the computer trying to figure out what on earth I should be doing, and then the next thing happens. On top of all this, we gave 3 tours between Tuesday and Thursday, and today, when our intern had to go home sick with a bad cold and the director and I had to cover the afternoon tours, we gave 5. Thankfully, she was wonderful enough to give one tour before leaving, then I gave 2 in a row, then came back from the 2nd tour to discover another one ready to start the next tour. On top of being nice enough to give that tour so that I could eat lunch (at 2pm), the director also had a sweet tea waiting on me (without asking if I wanted one). Yes, I am a strong believer that sweet tea makes life a little better. I gave one more tour after that one. Overall the tours went well- I'm getting more confident in giving it, and I'm learning things while on the tours (on more than one occasion, a visitor has told me something about an object that I knew nothing about).

This week was more than I bargained for, but I'm going to try again next week- see if I can't figure out a way to surge past this feeling.

Job

So, I'm terrible at updating.

After 6.5 months without a job, I finally got one. I am the education coordinator for a historic house museum now, and I'm currently finishing my 4th week of work. And let me just tell you... it's been intense (I've already racked up more than 2 days flex time). I've had some really great experiences so far, and some experiences that if I/we learn from them, that's about the only positive thing that could come from the situation. The director is new too (started a whole 5 days before me), and we get along really well (which is likely the best thing EVER). We've already made some big changes to the site and have plans for MAJOR changes to hopefully happen soon (I say hopefully so that I might have an office that doesn't double as the storage closet in the near future- windows might be nice too). The other great news is that the board has faith in us both, and is letting us make these changes. It's nice when they walk in and tell us how happy they are that they made the decision they did to hire us both.

Another great thing about this job is all the help I've been able to get from contacts at other museums in the area. Everything from getting rid of exhibit cases, to help with dealing with drama on Facebook, to offering to help with our gift shop- it's been great. Nice to know that the museum community in the area is so open to sharing information & helping out.

One thing that has me confused though is that one board member has mentioned several times to me how nice and professional I look. What were they expecting me to wear? Sweats or old jeans? Plus, dressing professionally makes me look closer to my actual age (which is always a plus). Of course, on the one Saturday that I've already been called in to work (last minute, therefore didn't have the willpower to find really professional clothing), I was told that I look like I'm old enough to be one woman's 11-year-old granddaughter. Boy was she shocked to hear that I'm old enough to have a master's degree. And just today, I was asked by a 30-something city worker how old I am. Granted, he didn't tell me how old he thought I was, but instead told me that 25 is young. This seems like the biggest win so far, as far as being asked how old I am... no other comments were made!

In other jobs news, I'm about to start training one intern next Tuesday, our current intern (who I just realized was an intern last week) leaves us in 2 weeks, and another person has sent me an email requesting an internship. It's so crazy, since I was just the one interning... and now I'm the one training/ mentoring? Weird.

Dare You To Move

I'm not sure if you all know Switchfoot's song "Dare You To Move," but I've enjoyed it since I was in high school (find it if you're interested, I think it's worth it!) It's currently playing on my iTunes (for the first time in probably a year), which is what inspired me to write this.

A few weeks before I moved for graduate school, I was hanging out with some friends, and was asked how I felt about the move. I was pretty non-committal I think, but not exactly thrilled about the prospect when almost all of my close friends were going to be staying in the area. On my way home that night, "Dare You To Move" came on the radio, and really moved me. I really felt it was my sign that I needed to move, even if it meant being away from everyone (even though it was only 2.5 hours... I can count on one hand the number of friends who visited).

I've been getting really nervous about this job thing. Yes, lots of part-time jobs are popping up here, and possibly even a full-time (although that could very well be part-time as well) position... but that's about it for this area. A few weeks ago, I had to expand my job search out of the southeast because my stupid imaginary deadline of May had happened and I still didn't have a job. So, I've applied for a job in Washington (state... and DC, but I've been applying to those this whole time). Talk about out of my comfort zone... I haven't lived in Washington in 22 years. But then my mom pointed out to me that she and my dad weren't excited about the prospect of living in Washington either, but it allowed my dad to gain job experience, and 2 years later we were able to move back east. Now, I'm not saying that I'm getting that job, or have even heard back from them... but it's a big deal that I'm even letting myself apply there.

Hearing that song tonight reminded me that it works out, even if I have to move.  
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be...
Maybe the person I should be doesn't live in the southeast... at least not right now. Maybe I need to escape to become who I am supposed to be? I was not looking forward to moving 2.5 hours away, and that turned out alright. It's all going to work out, eventually. Something will happen soon, and that will be my sign if I really do need to get out of the area.

It's May now.

So... it's May now. Come May 15, that means I will have officially been without a job for 5 months. So yesterday, I started applying for jobs outside my preferred geographic area. The one I applied for yesterday is just about the furthest I can get away from home and still be in the contiguous U.S. But, it sounds great, is a government job (with government benefits!), and I meet their qualifications without really having to think hard.

You want to talk about frustrating? Let me tell you how crappy this has been. But if there are any tips I can share, it would be these:
1. Just because you think you've got a job in the bag, go ahead and keep applying. NOTHING is guaranteed, especially in this economy. Trust me.
2. Moving in with your parents is not bad. Maybe I should have prepared them for the bad moods (from job applications/ rejections) sooner though.
3. This takes a whole lot longer than anyone told me it would.
4. Patience isn't always a virtue. Granted, I only pretend to be patient. You who actually know me that I'd rather be ripping things to shreds than wait one more week to hear from a job.

So that's all I've got for now. I'm not happy with what's happening. I'll be honest. Each hour makes me less and less optimistic about getting this job.

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
-"Someday"- Rob Thomas 


P.S. Forgive my pessimistic rant following the awful Middle TN flooding- my troubles are nothing compared to those who lost their homes and lives. 

Update

Checkers has improved enough that we are no longer discussing putting him to sleep! He's still not completely back to himself, but he is recovering very well, and could be back to 100% by the end of the week if it was vertigo or vestibular/vestigular (sp?).
Also, I have a phone interview set up for Tuesday!

*$%&@*$&#

Let me first say that I've never said the "f-word." Sure, I've thought it. But I've never actually said it. In fact, I didn't curse until my sophomore year of college. And for the past month or so, the f-word has had a much stronger presence in my thoughts, to the point of almost coming out.
Some things are meant to be confidential, and they will stay confidential. But for the love of all that is good and holy... job rejections suck. Especially when HR sends you a completely full of crap correspondence that is completely untrue. This marks at least the 2nd one I've received that has no basis in the real world.
I'm trying to stay patient. I really really am. But I'm about to enter into my fourth month of unemployment, and the only money I've made is from 1 three-hour babysitting gig. And that was today. So, please stop telling me to be patient. Also, please stop asking about how the job search goes. Trust me- when I get a job, everyone will know. I won't try to hide it. And as a reward, until I get that job, I'll try really hard not to lose my patience in front of too many people. Deal?

Can you get rejected for a job in a dream?

Let me just say right off the bat, I should watch less television. See if you can find any parts of this story that sound very much like American Idol- because that's what it felt like.

So, last night, I had an incredibly vivid dream, where I was applying for a job at a place where I have already been rejected... but for a different job. In fact, this place was hiring about 20 people, so LOTS of people were there to apply. We go through interviews with 3 or 4 people, and during my first one, there is lots of praise. I left convinced that I would make it to the next round of interviews, which I did. So then we have round 2 of interviews, and that goes really well. The words "You have the job" aren't mentioned, but they might as well have been with what they are saying to me.

So then comes the next round of cuts. Everyone still in the running (about 50 people) is gathered in an auditorium with nametags on. Oddly enough, the guy I sat next to in 8th grade homeroom is there (I haven't seen him since 8th grade), and we get to talking. While we are talking, people who work for the department that we hope to get jobs with are walking around with letters or big boxes (that look exactly like the boxes that Panera gives people for a dozen bagels). The letters are for the people rejected, the boxes are for those who get the job- it's how you find out if you made it. So, this girl comes up to this guy and I and says, "Awesome, you're sitting together! That makes my job easier." Then she checks my nametag one more time, hands him the box, and says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I misread your nametag. Yours is around here somewhere." Well, then I spot someone walking by with my name... on an envelope attached to a wrapped up paperback book. Totally doesn't match any of the other packages or letters.

I open up the letter and read, "You did a great job, but unfortunately, there were just too many people here with similar resumes." (or something along those lines). Everyone from the department wrote little lines of encouragement, telling me to stay positive, the perfect job is out there, I'll find it soon. And then, oddly enough, my friend and her new husband also signed it. Yeah, I have no idea why.

Anyways, I was so angry and upset to lose this job when I felt like it was right there in my fingers that I threw a coke can up at the interviewers who were on the stage. And then I stormed out crying (though trying to hold in the tears as much as I could until I got outside). Naturally, it was pouring down rain when I got outside. So I then run to my car, get in the driver's seat and start driving. The next thing I realize, I'm actually in the backseat, still crying, and my mom is driving. Why my mom is picking me up from an interview, I have no clue. She tells me that while she knows that I don't want to talk about it, she needs to at least know what happened. AND then I finally wake up from that nightmare.

In case you're wondering about what book they gave me, I have no idea. I woke up before I had a chance to open it. Probably something about staying positive. So can you get rejected for a job in a dream? Yes... and you can show just how terrible you feel by throwing coke cans at your interviewers and not worry about any repercussions! I also love how even in my dreams, people are telling me to stay patient.

"Patience for now. More later."

This weekend was different. I went back to Murfreesboro to start packing up the rest of my room (so that my roommate might have her master bedroom back). While there, I got the email that I've been waiting for for 2 weeks (hurray!) and now I have a pre-interview of sorts set up for this week.
And then I got another sort of rejection. I may talk about this more later, but for now, I'm not going to go any further.
So this job search is taking longer than I expected. Significantly longer. Last week was bad, and I'm sorry if you were caught in my impatience cloud. I'm going to try to get out more this week (if the weather will allow) and watching the Olympics is nice and fun and different.

(For an idea of how bad my impatience was last week, I am now 2 episodes away from being done with Season 6 of Gilmore Girls. 2 weeks ago, I was on Season 3.)

Unemployment Stories

So, I still don't have a job. Fingers are crossed for another interview this week (hopefully the weather didn't affect that).
So what am I doing while I wait patiently for job news?
1. A t-shirt quilt: I've been saving up old t-shirts for awhile. You know, ones that meant a lot to you but you don't want to wear them anymore? So, this past week, I've been chopping them up into squares. I've also started doing this for my parents and brother. Sometime this week, my mom and I might even begin sewing them together! Anything to keep myself sorta busy.
2. Rearranging shelves/ selling back books: I have way too many books. So while I move books around shelves, I discover books that I don't want any more. I've discovered that I have way too many books. Too bad I end up buying more books when I take my old books to McKays. I've almost unloaded my last 2 boxes of books that are here.
3. Rewatching TV seasons on DVD: I hadn't watched Gilmore Girls in awhile (and I own all the seasons on DVD). So I started with the beginning and I'm working my way through all 7 seasons. I'm almost done with season 3 now.
4. Reading... for fun: This goes along with #2. Now that I actually have time to keep up with my love for reading, I've been taking advantage.

Yeah... I need a job.

I sound like a commercial.

So, my thesis is now turned in to the Graduate Studies office. Hip hip hooray!
And I've turned in my questionnaire that served as round 2 for a job. And I will turn in another application no later than tomorrow evening- with plans to turn in another in a week and a half.
So now that all this is accomplished.... "what are you going to do next?"
I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!

Nope. Not joking. Not in the slightest. I sound like a commercial. You know the commercials. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about...


That's the classic version. But after seeing this- this is now my favorite:


Adios amigos, I'm going to go chill with Mickey and Minnie for a week. And then enjoy Thanksgiving and decorating for Christmas!!! And basically not worrying about thesis for at least one week, but hopefully both weeks.

Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

I'm a big planner. I don't like to leave many things to chance.
I'm also in that weird Catch-22 every time something goes against plans- I expect it both to work and not work, all at the same time- so I'm both surprised and not surprised when it doesn't work out. (Gosh do I hope that sentence made sense).
Anyways- back to the topic at hand. I got my first job-related rejection letter this morning from the Smithsonian. It was a long shot, applying to work at the art museum, so I was actually not surprised by the rejection, and was pleasantly surprised that I did rank fairly high.
The thing is, I had/ have a really strong feeling that I'm meant to be in DC. Like something's up there waiting for me. I have no idea what, but there's a pull.
So anyways, I don't want to go into full details yet, but I got a possible job offer today. And it's not in DC. And despite all my planning to move away from here, it would mean staying here for 2 more years (minimum- with the option to stay longer).
And at some point this month, I'll explain myself better.