Weather

I'll admit it. I'm slightly obsessed with weather. I've got it bookmarked on my computer, I've got the Weather Channel app, and I check these for more than just what's the temperature. I also actually check the Weather Channel home page- and actually read some of the articles.
I've never really been much of a fan of rain. And storms just scare me. But hurricanes and tornadoes? They fascinate me. Oh sure- they terrify me... but there's fascination there too.
Right after I graduated college, I went on a cruise with several of my classmates. Our last night on the boat, we were all feeling quite seasick after realizing the boat was significantly more choppy than we'd gotten used to. After we got off the boat, we discovered that we'd gone through part of a tropical storm. Surprise! But wait- I couldn't remember seeing anything about a tropical storm in the area before I left... but it had been a few days since I'd paid attention.
Then in graduate school, we had tornado watches and warnings far more often than I'd been used to (thanks flatter part of the state). During the Super Tuesday outbreak of 2008, one of my roommates had to wake us up after hearing the sirens on campus at 2am. Since we lived on the second floor, with only the model apartment below us, we couldn't bug our neighbors below us to shelter us. So, we did what we thought was safest, and huddled in the hallway with a big sheet of plywood by us, ready to get under the plywood if we heard the telltale sounds of a tornado in the area. One roommate left her tv on so that we were sure when we were out of danger. Of course, the news anchors were less than helpful, saying the oh so kind phrase, "Looks like everyone is out of danger... except those in" the town that we lived in. Awesome. That's just what you want to hear.
A year and 2 months later, another big tornado warning. This time, I'd gotten so used to tornado watches that I just kinda blew it off, and continued about with my day as I always had. Besides, you can't blow off a meeting with your practicum advisors because you're worried about a storm that may or may not happen. Well, as we were getting ready to leave our lunch meeting, I checked my phone and noticed the tornado warning texts. My practicum advisors, both from a local children's museum, felt like they would be safer back at the museum, where they could help gather guests. I decided I would feel safer at my home. So we run outside in the pouring rain, and I notice this big dark cloud in an oddly funnel-like shape. Never having seen a tornado in person, I was just about to get into my car and drive to my house (which was the same direction as the tornado), when my advisors yell, "That's a tornado! Get back here!"
While the tornado was going faster than I would have been (and had a head start), I still feel like they sort of saved my life by telling me not to get in my car. The tornado hit the neighborhood next to mine (half a mile from my house), as well as several other neighborhoods and businesses. And here, I'd watched it cross the intersection headed that direction. Of course, we had to wait out the storm at this restaurant, where the workers had no clue what to do in case of a tornado. Then we lost power. I made it home about 30-45 minutes later, calling my roommates frantically because none of them were home (they were all safe), and realized that we had no power at my house either. I have no idea how we had power when we returned home from a concert that evening at about 1am, but all I have to say is that the power company definitely had their work cut out for them all over the town. I found out the next day that it had been an EF-4 tornado.
The damage was amazing- it's exactly what is the worst thing about tornadoes. One side of the street will be demolished, and the other side looks like nothing happened.
Tomorrow's storms are already making me anxious- I can't tell you the number of times I've checked the Weather Channel's home page. We have a TOR:CON index of 6 (moderate possibility of a tornado), which is a BIG deal for where I live. Where I used to live? An 8... which means a high probability of a tornado.
Yup- Weather Channel will be an open tab all day tomorrow.

I will find my way, I can go the distance

I love quotes. I think I've shared several here before. When I was thinking of what I was going to post here before I logged in, I had several in mind. And then I saw the quote I have in the corner: "Finding one's own peace is no small task." One of my former professors said that during a lecture, and it stuck with me... just like it's changed the direction of this post.
Not going to lie. Life has been rough lately (although to seem less pessimistic, I will point out that there have been several good moments also), so finding my peace has been next to impossible. We put my 16-year-old dog to sleep almost two months ago (the one I was worried we were going to have to put to sleep a year ago, so at least he had an extra year?) Around the same time, I found out that one of my great-uncles has stage 4 cancer in two places. A week later, my grandfather was taken to the hospital for mini-strokes (and then to a rehabilitation facility). He just returned this week, and it's the first I've seen him since he left town (he was out of town when the strokes happened). While all of this was happening, I was working 6-day weeks (with one exception- the weekend after putting my dog to sleep, I had off). That made it too difficult to go visit him out of state. To top it all off, there have been a few other insane stress situations that have wormed their way into my life (like when my car magically didn't want to start... thankfully it is still under warranty for 1500 more miles or until May, whichever comes first).
It was nice to get a break from everything for a little while. I was in a wedding (#4), and despite knowing only one person other than the bride before the wedding, left the wedding feeling like I'd made lots of friends (even if I won't see them again). Then I left the wedding, skipped returning home to go to the beach with family members. Definitely the best way to get out of the winter doldrums.
Now that I've returned home though, I have to come back to reality and really think through some decisions, which could mean major changes in my life. It's hard to find peace when so many things aren't up to you. [And now to end this with a quote:] However, "I will find my way, I can go the distance. I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to find where I belong."

Hello World

I remain convinced that God puts songs in my life for a reason. Frequently while I'm driving, songs will come on that just perfectly capture what I'm feeling, or need to feel, or need to hear.

This week, "Hello World" by Lady Antebellum seems to be coming on the radio (and I should note that I only turn to the country station when 3-4 other stations aren't playing what I want to hear) and on my iTunes shuffle at an alarming rate (note- the shuffle is out of an impressive number of songs too). The last verse leaves me stunned every time. And I just had to share it here.

Hello World - Lady Antebellum - Lady Antebellum Videos

What do you do when you've been a bridesmaid 4 times?

After getting mad for the umpteenth time that The Knot's bridesmaid page is focused on making bridesmaids feel inadequate for not taking a month's vacation to help brides (I exaggerate, but seriously, I don't think they realize that bridesmaids don't always live in the same town as the bride), I decided to write a bridesmaid blog. I figured I had enough experience to share my opinions.
In similar news, using my bridesmaid experience, I've been helping my college roommate plan her wedding. It's sad that I know how long it takes to get bridesmaid dresses in, and how long it takes for bridal gown alterations, and so on and so forth, but I'm glad that it's helping someone!!

Family letters and a proposal to an "Unknown Friend"

I love reading old family letters. I even wrote two theses using family letters from WWII. But back to the subject at hand...
My great-great-aunt (possibly great-great-great?) Annie (Anna) received a letter in 1930 that my grandmother just showed me today. Aunt Annie never married, but apparently that didn't stop strangers from proposing to her. This man was looking for a "good wife" and Aunt Annie apparently came "highly recommended." As far as his qualities, he's home four nights a week, and can provide a 10-room house with gas and electric. Given that Aunt Annie never married, it makes me wonder if she laughed while reading this proposition as much as I did?

Click on the letters to make them larger.

Some thoughts on 2010, 2011

I had a fun New Year's Eve with 2 of my oldest friends (with whom I have celebrated many recent NYEs) at First Night. We started the evening with dinner and toasting (since I wanted to be safe to drive after the ball dropped, we did our champagne toasts at about 7pm). Want to know what we toasted to? A happy new year, good riddance, our new year's resolutions (yeah, I'll spare myself the embarrassment of posting what my resolutions are), and so forth. So basically, lots of things to look forward too for 2011.

But speaking of "good riddance"... I've been attempting to fill collage picture frames all day. I found my high school and college graduation albums and started looking through them. Apparently I didn't get many pictures at HS graduation except with family and a few other people. College on the other hand... lots of pictures with friends (and again, family). I was a little shocked to realize how few of the people I was so close with in college I haven't spoken to in awhile. That place was home for four years, and those people were almost family... and yet we're coming up on 4 years since graduation (oh wow do I feel old) and I can safely say that at least half of those people I haven't spoken to since shortly after that date. Now, I am fully willing to take the blame for some. I haven't kept in contact the way I should have (and if you're reading this, I'm sorry). But then there's those other people... the ones that there are reasons why I haven't stayed in contact. Finding their pictures in that album wasn't so fun. I'm sure everyone has those... the ones that you seriously question whether you should toss them out of the album all together (and with technology the way it is, delete them from your computer memory too).

And yet, I can't bring myself to do it. I mean, several of those people are still in my phone memory. Friends with several on Facebook... though I don't know how much longer that will last. After all... if our friendship meant that little in real life, why pretend on the internet? But I'm just bringing up bad memories at this point.

For 2011, I'm hoping for a fresh start. As Jane Austen points out in Pride and Prejudice, "Think only of the past as its remembrance brings you pleasure." Easier said than done, but it's worth a shot. Good riddance to the bad, bring back the happy past!

And a happy new year to all!

Me vs. the Civil War

I'll be honest. I may have two history degrees under my belt, and I do really enjoy military history. But, I really don't like Civil War history (I dislike it as passionately as many people love it). Yes, it's important... I don't want to make it seem like it isn't.

But, the last time I really had to learn Civil War history was in 8th grade (I was a TA for the only other class that covered it, and given that I was grading, I don't count that- nor do I count projects for graduate school that were Civil War related). How do you make it through college as a history major without taking a class that covers the Civil War? Simple. My college required students to take 1 of 3 classes from "Group A": Colonial/ Revolutionary, 19th Century (Civil War), and Europe and the World in the 20th Century. I love World War II history, so I naturally chose the last option. I ended up eventually taking the Colonial/ Revolutionary class as well.

I think what bothers me the most about it are the fanatics (oh, I know... there are WWII fanatics as well, I just don't come in contact with them as much). With an issue as divisive as the Civil War is, everyone has a very specific idea of what the Civil War was about. Do you have any idea what I would give for 2 people to agree about what the Civil War was about? Let's look at how World War I was explained to me (oh thank you Dr. Berry): NIPA. Also known as Nationalism, Imperialism, Population Growth, Alliances.

World War II isn't much different... after World War I is over, the armistice creates a world which blames Germany for pretty much causing the war and forces Germany to pay reparations that can't possibly be paid off. Add to this a worldwide depression and other issues, plus some charismatic leaders with ideas of how to pull countries out of these awful situations (no matter how dark and dastardly) and you get World War II. Oh sure, I've simplified it, and I'm sure you can simplify the Civil War to this extent, but how many people are going to agree on that? You've got the South which is often so desperate to point out that the Civil War wasn't about slavery (I'll bite my tongue here), and then you've got the North so desperate to point out that they were pro-abolition (again, no comments), and both sides trying to point out inconsistencies with the other's argument.

What inspired this stream of consciousness about the Civil War was two articles posted by AASLH's Twitter feed. One was the New York Times, and one was an article from AASLH's magazine. The New York Times article made me sad about living in the South (something I typically am proud of, despite the history). Holding a Secession Ball? Having a mock- swearing in of Jefferson Davis? The words running through my mind are words that I wouldn't dream of speaking out loud (or typing here for everyone to see). It was bad enough holding a Centennial event at a segregated hotel. Folks, it's been 50 years, let's prove that we've learned something for the Sesquicentennial. Don't romanticize this. Tell both sides of the story. Think about how different communities might feel about these events. Yeah, it's going to take some effort. It's going to require thinking. But if I'm going to be dragged into learning more about the Civil War during the Sesquicentennial for my job, you need to step it up too for your events. Don't embarrass us all.