I'm not sure if you all know Switchfoot's song "Dare You To Move," but I've enjoyed it since I was in high school (find it if you're interested, I think it's worth it!) It's currently playing on my iTunes (for the first time in probably a year), which is what inspired me to write this.
A few weeks before I moved for graduate school, I was hanging out with some friends, and was asked how I felt about the move. I was pretty non-committal I think, but not exactly thrilled about the prospect when almost all of my close friends were going to be staying in the area. On my way home that night, "Dare You To Move" came on the radio, and really moved me. I really felt it was my sign that I needed to move, even if it meant being away from everyone (even though it was only 2.5 hours... I can count on one hand the number of friends who visited).
I've been getting really nervous about this job thing. Yes, lots of part-time jobs are popping up here, and possibly even a full-time (although that could very well be part-time as well) position... but that's about it for this area. A few weeks ago, I had to expand my job search out of the southeast because my stupid imaginary deadline of May had happened and I still didn't have a job. So, I've applied for a job in Washington (state... and DC, but I've been applying to those this whole time). Talk about out of my comfort zone... I haven't lived in Washington in 22 years. But then my mom pointed out to me that she and my dad weren't excited about the prospect of living in Washington either, but it allowed my dad to gain job experience, and 2 years later we were able to move back east. Now, I'm not saying that I'm getting that job, or have even heard back from them... but it's a big deal that I'm even letting myself apply there.
Hearing that song tonight reminded me that it works out, even if I have to move.
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be...
Maybe the person I should be doesn't live in the southeast... at least not right now. Maybe I need to escape to become who I am supposed to be? I was not looking forward to moving 2.5 hours away, and that turned out alright. It's all going to work out, eventually. Something will happen soon, and that will be my sign if I really do need to get out of the area.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
It's May now.
So... it's May now. Come May 15, that means I will have officially been without a job for 5 months. So yesterday, I started applying for jobs outside my preferred geographic area. The one I applied for yesterday is just about the furthest I can get away from home and still be in the contiguous U.S. But, it sounds great, is a government job (with government benefits!), and I meet their qualifications without really having to think hard.
You want to talk about frustrating? Let me tell you how crappy this has been. But if there are any tips I can share, it would be these:
1. Just because you think you've got a job in the bag, go ahead and keep applying. NOTHING is guaranteed, especially in this economy. Trust me.
2. Moving in with your parents is not bad. Maybe I should have prepared them for the bad moods (from job applications/ rejections) sooner though.
3. This takes a whole lot longer than anyone told me it would.
4. Patience isn't always a virtue. Granted, I only pretend to be patient. You who actually know me that I'd rather be ripping things to shreds than wait one more week to hear from a job.
So that's all I've got for now. I'm not happy with what's happening. I'll be honest. Each hour makes me less and less optimistic about getting this job.
And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow
Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
-"Someday"- Rob Thomas
P.S. Forgive my pessimistic rant following the awful Middle TN flooding- my troubles are nothing compared to those who lost their homes and lives.
You want to talk about frustrating? Let me tell you how crappy this has been. But if there are any tips I can share, it would be these:
1. Just because you think you've got a job in the bag, go ahead and keep applying. NOTHING is guaranteed, especially in this economy. Trust me.
2. Moving in with your parents is not bad. Maybe I should have prepared them for the bad moods (from job applications/ rejections) sooner though.
3. This takes a whole lot longer than anyone told me it would.
4. Patience isn't always a virtue. Granted, I only pretend to be patient. You who actually know me that I'd rather be ripping things to shreds than wait one more week to hear from a job.
So that's all I've got for now. I'm not happy with what's happening. I'll be honest. Each hour makes me less and less optimistic about getting this job.
And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow
Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
-"Someday"- Rob Thomas
P.S. Forgive my pessimistic rant following the awful Middle TN flooding- my troubles are nothing compared to those who lost their homes and lives.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
On love and marriage (and matchmakers)
Two posts for today (since I'm a bit behind):
I've been subbing at the preschool that my mom works at (and where I used to work in the summers) for the past few weeks. It's been interesting, to say the least.
For instance, today at lunch, one of the little girls in my mom's pre-K class randomly asks me, "Miss Ashleigh, when are you going to get married?"
Another child told me that you get married when you're a grown-up. In case you're wondering, the class is divided on whether or not I'm a real grown-up (it's a problem when your mom is the teacher, and they don't know how that works- 2 weeks ago they thought that since they had a sub, that I was her daughter, because clearly I'm the daughter of whoever is the teacher). At least them being divided gives me a little leeway on when I need to get married.
But the weirdest thing is that about 5 minutes later, my mom's friend calls and tells her that she's just ran into one of her friends whose son went to elementary school through 8th grade with me. And together, they've decided that we're perfect for each other. His mom said, "Well, I remember when she [me] was younger, she was just darling!" And Katherine said, "She still is!" "Ashleigh, you MUST find him and friend him on Facebook" (he found me a few months ago, so no worries there). And wouldn't you know it, he's going to be in town this summer doing an internship for graduate school.
I'm so glad that we've got this all worked out now. Half the Pre-K thinks it's time for me to get married, and now we've found the right person. Glad that it takes no effort on my part.
I've been subbing at the preschool that my mom works at (and where I used to work in the summers) for the past few weeks. It's been interesting, to say the least.
For instance, today at lunch, one of the little girls in my mom's pre-K class randomly asks me, "Miss Ashleigh, when are you going to get married?"
Another child told me that you get married when you're a grown-up. In case you're wondering, the class is divided on whether or not I'm a real grown-up (it's a problem when your mom is the teacher, and they don't know how that works- 2 weeks ago they thought that since they had a sub, that I was her daughter, because clearly I'm the daughter of whoever is the teacher). At least them being divided gives me a little leeway on when I need to get married.
But the weirdest thing is that about 5 minutes later, my mom's friend calls and tells her that she's just ran into one of her friends whose son went to elementary school through 8th grade with me. And together, they've decided that we're perfect for each other. His mom said, "Well, I remember when she [me] was younger, she was just darling!" And Katherine said, "She still is!" "Ashleigh, you MUST find him and friend him on Facebook" (he found me a few months ago, so no worries there). And wouldn't you know it, he's going to be in town this summer doing an internship for graduate school.
I'm so glad that we've got this all worked out now. Half the Pre-K thinks it's time for me to get married, and now we've found the right person. Glad that it takes no effort on my part.
Quote of the Month
April's quote of the month is my favorite. So fitting for birth month!!
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax- of cabbages- and kings- and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."
-Lewis Carroll
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax- of cabbages- and kings- and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."
-Lewis Carroll
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Update
Checkers has improved enough that we are no longer discussing putting him to sleep! He's still not completely back to himself, but he is recovering very well, and could be back to 100% by the end of the week if it was vertigo or vestibular/vestigular (sp?).
Also, I have a phone interview set up for Tuesday!
Also, I have a phone interview set up for Tuesday!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Bring on the rain (although I am going to cry)
It's been a rough end of the week here at my house.
About a month ago, my dad took my dog to the vet for his yearly check-up. As Checkers is now 15.5, my dad started questioning how we'd know when it's time for us to let him go. The vet said that Checkers would let us know- but that he was looking great (other than hearing/sight loss and arthritis, he acts and looks younger than he is).
Yesterday morning, my parents let him out before going to work. Normally, Checkers then sleeps from when my mom leaves for work until his 6th sense kicks in and he knows that I am eating. However, yesterday, he woke up around 10am and I could hear him struggling to get out of the bed. I went to check on him, and he pretty much fell out of the bed. And then he couldn't walk very far without falling. By very far, I mean that he made it from my parents room to my door- all of about 10-15 feet. I called my parents, explained what was happening. A little later, he decided that he wanted to be downstairs, so he went down the stairs, falling every so often. He continued to get worse as the day went on, eventually causing me to call my parents a final time and them both leaving work. By that point, he had a definite lean and as my dad noticed, his eyes weren't focusing at all. We all took him to the vet and were convinced that was going to be it. However, the vet told us pretty much immediately that Checkers has vertigo. Yes, apparently it isn't even that uncommon for dogs to get vertigo, especially older ones. The biggest problem is that Checkers doesn't appear to have an inner ear infection, and if it isn't that, it's from a stroke or a tumor. And since it came on so quickly, we are guessing it is probably from a stroke. We've tried him on bomine since then, and he's improved some, but it's still so hard to watch him. We don't feel good about his quality of life if he can't be left alone, he's not sleeping well, he has moments where he won't stop panting, he can't go down steps (so must be carried down them), and he looks so confused about what is going on. He hasn't looked happy since Wednesday.
So unless he's had a miraculous evening (I wasn't here), we are probably saying our final goodbyes tomorrow.
Tonight, I did escape from the house. I had tickets to see Jo Dee Messina in the grand opening of the Clayton Center at Maryville- it was awesome (both the Center and the concert). She sang "Bring On The Rain," which is my favorite by her. And thank goodness I was smart enough to not wear eye makeup, because I was holding it together pretty nicely until she sang the line "I'm not gonna cry..." and then the tears started back (much like earlier when I was getting ready and every song on shuffle was determined to set me off: "What Hurts The Most," "Better As A Memory," "I Will Remember You," etc).
So Checkers, if tomorrow is it, thank you for keeping me company for the last few months. I'm not sure how I'll handle the empty house without you. But know that I am going to cry. And if tomorrow isn't it, then I hope you do stick around till 20 like I've been saying. Regardless, I'm NEVER watching Marley & Me again. Ever. Not even the beginning part.
Saturday morning edit: Checkers slept through the night and woke up well. We're going to hold judgment until Monday now!
About a month ago, my dad took my dog to the vet for his yearly check-up. As Checkers is now 15.5, my dad started questioning how we'd know when it's time for us to let him go. The vet said that Checkers would let us know- but that he was looking great (other than hearing/sight loss and arthritis, he acts and looks younger than he is).
Yesterday morning, my parents let him out before going to work. Normally, Checkers then sleeps from when my mom leaves for work until his 6th sense kicks in and he knows that I am eating. However, yesterday, he woke up around 10am and I could hear him struggling to get out of the bed. I went to check on him, and he pretty much fell out of the bed. And then he couldn't walk very far without falling. By very far, I mean that he made it from my parents room to my door- all of about 10-15 feet. I called my parents, explained what was happening. A little later, he decided that he wanted to be downstairs, so he went down the stairs, falling every so often. He continued to get worse as the day went on, eventually causing me to call my parents a final time and them both leaving work. By that point, he had a definite lean and as my dad noticed, his eyes weren't focusing at all. We all took him to the vet and were convinced that was going to be it. However, the vet told us pretty much immediately that Checkers has vertigo. Yes, apparently it isn't even that uncommon for dogs to get vertigo, especially older ones. The biggest problem is that Checkers doesn't appear to have an inner ear infection, and if it isn't that, it's from a stroke or a tumor. And since it came on so quickly, we are guessing it is probably from a stroke. We've tried him on bomine since then, and he's improved some, but it's still so hard to watch him. We don't feel good about his quality of life if he can't be left alone, he's not sleeping well, he has moments where he won't stop panting, he can't go down steps (so must be carried down them), and he looks so confused about what is going on. He hasn't looked happy since Wednesday.
So unless he's had a miraculous evening (I wasn't here), we are probably saying our final goodbyes tomorrow.
Tonight, I did escape from the house. I had tickets to see Jo Dee Messina in the grand opening of the Clayton Center at Maryville- it was awesome (both the Center and the concert). She sang "Bring On The Rain," which is my favorite by her. And thank goodness I was smart enough to not wear eye makeup, because I was holding it together pretty nicely until she sang the line "I'm not gonna cry..." and then the tears started back (much like earlier when I was getting ready and every song on shuffle was determined to set me off: "What Hurts The Most," "Better As A Memory," "I Will Remember You," etc).
So Checkers, if tomorrow is it, thank you for keeping me company for the last few months. I'm not sure how I'll handle the empty house without you. But know that I am going to cry. And if tomorrow isn't it, then I hope you do stick around till 20 like I've been saying. Regardless, I'm NEVER watching Marley & Me again. Ever. Not even the beginning part.
Saturday morning edit: Checkers slept through the night and woke up well. We're going to hold judgment until Monday now!
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